What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
