So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
