So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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