I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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