if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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