uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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