Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
