i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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