I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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