you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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