Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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