oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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