If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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