I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
