i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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