I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
