Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
should my penis look like a turkey
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
