Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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