My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
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It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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