his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Panties = found
Randomize
