dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
