she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
