"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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