Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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