You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
