office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
