She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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