I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
