***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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