If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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