I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
