so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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