Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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