You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
