This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Every concussion has its silver lining
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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