i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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