I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
