I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
