Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
