the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
