oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
