Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
