I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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