OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
