I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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