and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
