You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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