if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
