i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
