What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
