when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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