I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
