Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up under a house in Key West
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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