I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
