About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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