I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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