I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize