D3 body, D1 cock
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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