I got chris browned last night
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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