i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize