If that was your dad, he is hot
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
