Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
