i permit you to call me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
