Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i think my tv is drunk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
do herpes really smell.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
