Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
